Skip to main content

Joseph Farah Thinks He Is A Prophet Now



posted on 10/30/2013 by the Salt City Sinner 

Happy Devil's Night and preemptive Halloween, ye servants of darkness!

It is by this point quite apparent, I would think, that I have a low-grade obsession with Joseph Farah's WND (formerly “WorldNetDaily”), which I think is probably the most insane right-wing website on planet Earth – certainly the most insane site that generates such a volume of traffic, anyway. It's impossible to know how many WND readers are there looking for their version of legitimate “news” and how many are, like me, lookie-loos attracted to the most ghastly political freak-show this side of Alex Jones, but the numbers are pretty impressive (1.680 in traffic worldwide, 454 in the US, according to Alexa).

Lest you think this is just a depressing measure of the size of the proverbial fever swamps, it's worth noting WND's email list has been purchased by the Republican National Committee for outreach efforts in the past. This lends Farah's shrill, brain-dead chorus of “Obama is gay / foreign / Muslim / Hitler” gobbledygook an unfortunate air of legitimacy in conservative circles – and, it just so happens, allows WND to turn a brisk trade in merchandise, books, DVDs, and (for all I know) Joe McCarthy commemorative pistol cozies.

just another day at WND

It will be interesting to see how Farah's fear factory of fraud stands up to the recent revelation – courtesy of Farah himself – that apparently YHWH, the G*d of Abraham (but not the Muslim offspring of old Abe) has chosen Joe to be his prophet in these trying times.

Lest you think that I am exaggerating, here's a little background. Farah, who is a hard-core, fire-breathing Christianist (totalitarian theocratic Christian Evangelical), has been toying with the prophecy game for years. He has, lately, split his time between hawking end-times prophecy books, especially those written by Messianic Rabbis (AKA, Christians pretending to be Jews because it feels so “authentic” and “old-school”), and publicly calling for his readers to repent, REPENT, REPENT!

See Farah's column from Friday, October 18, which whimsically takes the form of an open letter to God and/or Farah's readers (I'm not kidding):

That’s why I come to you, Lord, today, in humility, seeking your face and repenting openly and publicly of my own wicked ways. I implore other believers – your people – to do the same, publicly or privately. 

An interesting note about Farah's "open letter" and that "publicly or privately" bit: for those of you unfamiliar with Jesus' teachings regarding this type of loud, public, ostentatious piety, I would direct your attention to Matthew 6:5 – 7 :

5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward. 6 But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. 

Anyhoo, Farah has now stepped it up a notch.

Whereas your average media dimwit like Glenn Beck seems content to see himself as a proud freedom fighter, Big Joe has decided he's more like the second coming of – and here I do not exaggerate a whit – the Old Testament prophet Jeremiah.

No, really.

From Farah's most recent column, cranked out last night (emphasis mine):

Like Jeremiah, I warned that we were on the wrong course 10 years ago in my book “Taking America Back.” I offered a simple prescription for moral, political and spiritual renewal. 
In that quote's original context, “Taking America Back” is actually a hyperlink to Joe's book, handily on sale in the “WND SUPERSTORE” for only $11.95, plus shipping and handling.

I have to say, I am actually quite impressed by the size of Farah's balls. It takes a truly rare specimen to, in one single sentence, compare one's self to an Old Testament prophet and then hock a decade-old paperback for a cool twelve bucks.

Whatever the eventual outcome (SPOILER ALERT: Big Joe ascends bodily to Paradise and I am consigned to a warm and comfortable armchair by Satan's left hoof in the fires of Hell), I wish Mr. Farah nothing but the best in his new career as a for-profit prophet.

Although, come to think of it...didn't Jeremiah himself have something to say on this subject? Jeremiah 23:26 :
How long shall there be lies in the heart of the prophets who prophesy lies, and who prophesy the deceit of their own heart?

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Apparently, Liberals Are The Illuminati

posted 10/5/2012 by the Salt City Sinner Greetings, sheeple, from my stronghold high atop the Wells Fargo Building in downtown Salt City, where I type this before a massive, glowing bank of monitors that display the ongoing progress of my 23-point plan for complete social control. Whether you want to demonize me as a "liberal," or prefer the Glenn Beck update "progressive," we all know the truth, and it's time to pull the curtain aside: like all left-leaning persons, I am actually a member of the Illuminati. How else to explain how much power my side of the aisle wields in U.S. American politics? According to conservatives, liberals/the Illuminati control the media * , science * , academia in general * , public schools * , public radio * , pretty much anything "public," the courts * , and Hollywood * . Hell, we pretty much control everything except for scrappy, underdog operations like WND and Fox News, or quiet, marginalized voices like

The Garden Is Dead, Long Live The Garden

posted on 8/30/2015 by the Salt City Sinner  The last two times that I wrote about gardening, the tone was uncharacteristically less “playful whimsy” than “agonized demon howl.” This is with good reason. The cockroach-hearted fauxhemian Whole Foods crowd at Wasatch Community Gardens, you see, did a terrible thing to me and many other people – they decided that agreements are for suckers and that what the world really needs is another blighted patch of asphalt rather than a large and vibrant community garden, and so they killed my garden (and the gardens of many others) dead, dead, dead. Forgive my bitterness: there is something about loving a patch of actual soil, about nurturing life from tiny green shoots to a luxurious canopy of flowers and vegetables that brings out a protective streak in a human being, and also a ferocious loyalty. The destruction of Sugar House Community Garden did not, however, end my gardening career – heavens, no! Instead, I and a handful of

Cult Books: One Good, One Terrible

  I’ve finished writing a new novel (stay tuned for details) in which the massacre at Jonestown in November 1978 plays a pivotal role. Both to research it and because the phenomenon interests me, I’ve read more than a few books on cults and cultic ideology over the last year.