posted on 1/6/2014 by the Salt City Sinner, with significant contributions from Ørn Hansen Hey there ho there, citizen, do you have anything to fear but fear itself? NO? Think harder before you answer. Fear is an industry these days, and to refuse to buy any at all is to raise a skinny fist against Industry itself! Aren't you afraid of terrorists? Aren't you afraid of kids these days, what with their droogs and their moloko vellocet and their anti-sex leagues and their Jesus camps? One thing that you are surely concerned about is the rogue weirdo, the guy who *isn't quite right*, you know, the guy, THAT guy, the you-think possibly one-day armed maybe office shooter? Well you can look Officer Friendly in the face(plate) and ask “am I safe?” and he will grip his riot gear tighter to himself and answer “No.” Then he'll squint at you and growl "wait, you aren't 'safe,' are you?!" and kneel on your throat until he can zip-tie you until subm...