Wednesday, 30 December 2009

Molotov Mitchell, Right-Wing Extremist

There's very little I find more fascinating than the good people at WorldNetDaily. WND is a website so right-wing that it makes Glenn Beck sound like Terry Gross. To get any further right or any more nationalistic, you have to pretty much start looking through the remainders bin for white supremacist or overtly Nazi sites, and I prefer not to go there. WND is worth giving a perusal every so often, however: when they aren't promulgating ridiculous conspiracy theories that have even fellow travellers in the wingnut community calling them out, they feature a colorful refugee camp of pundits that can be highly entertaining. If you're such a nut that Fox usually won't touch you with a ten foot pole (let alone, god forbid, the liberal media), WND has a place for you. A place right next to Chuck Norris!

One such refugee is Jason "Molotov" Mitchell, a loathesome little moron who produces a series of low-tech video rants for WND (where have I seen that font before, Jason? edgy!). In a recent entry, Mitchell has earned his bones - literally - by being the first wingnut I can find to defend Uganda's decision to institute the death penalty for homosexuality. His argument as to why this policy is neither fascistic nor anti-Christian is a masterpiece of right-wing antilogic:

According to the bible, God created the death penalty not man. And it was God who determined what crimes deserved it. That's also why our founding fathers made homosexuality a capital offense...Politically speaking, Uganda is a sovereign, democratic nation that is free to make it's own laws. They don't want to kill the homosexuals [ed. - excuse me?], they just want them to stop practicing homosexual acts. Now, if the government were to close the borders and start hunting down gay Ugandans, that would be another case. If gay Ugandans don't like the law, they are more than free to leave. So don't let liberals compare this to Nazi Germany or any other murderous regime for that matter. And don't think that our founding fathers wouldn't support this legislation all the way.

Now, Mitchell is the type of vile little shit that is constantly trying to fluff his online persona by tweaking liberals, saying "shockingly" politically incorrect garbage, etc. That's a pretty well-populated field (for every Beck or Limbaugh you have a Savage or a Malkin or whoever willing to push the envelope just a little further). He also has the standard-issue victim complex: he was an early adopter of the "Napolitano is after us 'right wing extremists' well the FOUNDING FATHERS were 'right wing extremists'" meme, and flogged that sucker about as hard as anybody.

The interesting twist is that Mitchell isn't some firebrand libertarian or Tea Party weirdo (even the Tea Party weirdos have a modicum of mainstream cred at this point). He has decided to pitch his tent far beyond the spotlights, off in the wilderness of the Zealot Movement. Although they've faded back into the woodwork somewhat, a mission statement from the Zealots has been preserved:

We are children of the Sword, the face of Truth on a dying planet. We are the worldwide tribe and at the feet of our King the nations will bow. We are the pure and royal priesthood...We are the enemies of injustice and defenders of those without defense. Our eyes are the coals of righteousness and our hearts burn with hatred for all that is evil. We are the warriors. We are the fearless. We are the Zealots.

So: here we have a guy defending the death penalty for homosexuality, who also happens to be a member of a group that spouts weird shit like "our eyes are the coals of righteousness" (in the grand tradition of creepy extremists, Mitchell has a big-ass ZEALOT tattoo on his forearm). Reading the above, I'm not sure whether to yell "WOLVERINES!" or give a shout-out to Allah, but it definitely gives off a strong aroma of dank basement and stockpiled ammunition.


  1. I like the way you think! I used to live in SL, but I couldn't hack it, so I moved to Chicago 27 years ago. I recently heard of this guy, Mitchell. He might fit in down state. Or Point of the Mountain. Of course, that would necessitate a life change!!

  2. You obviously aren't giving the reason why he does support the Ugandan Law, he read the bill. Molotov is a right on guy, speaking the truth and not caring about the people who attack him for it.