Our merciless, cruel God occasionally throws us a twist so depraved, so delicious that it could not possibly come from fiction. May I present, in his own words, Republican Presidential Candidate and former Utah Governor Jon Huntsman:
"My hair was Rod Stewart shaggy. I wouldn't wear anything but super skinny jeans. I ended up leaving high school a bit short of graduation to play with a band called Wizard."
NPR goes behind the music to uncover the sordid past of Wizard:
A lot of the band's early gigs came at youth-oriented music "stomps," sponsored by the Mormon church.
"We knew we couldn't sing certain songs, so we'd have to change the words to them," bass player Eric Malmquist said. "We'd play Eric Clapton's 'Cocaine.' But instead of singing 'cocaine,' which you probably wouldn't do in church, we'd change the word to propane."
Unfortunately, Wizard's hard-rocking odes to clean burning, natural propane would only echo throughout the Salt Lake valley for so long:
Wizard never achieved rock stardom. And Huntsman eventually left the band to serve his Mormon mission in Taiwan. When he returned, he traded rock and roll for work in the Reagan White House.
As anyone who is anyone will tell you, there's no such thing as "trading rock and roll for work in the Reagan White House."
There is nothing on Earth more rock and roll than Ronald Reagan.
Image courtesy of awful, awful website Politico, which you should avoid.