Tuesday, 10 April 2012

The Future's So Dark, I Might As Well Wear Shades

Posted 4/10/2012, by the Salt City Sinner

Of the qualities that I like least about myself, the primary one is arrogance.

That may come as a surprise to friends or even the most casual acquaintances of mine, who probably see me as  a proudly arrogant son of a gun. I'm working on it, the way a person works on a diet, or a fancy new yoga routine.

Speaking of said yoga routine, one of the most arrogant beliefs that I held for the longest time was my hard-core, take-no-prisoners, avast-ye-mateys atheism. Over the last year or so I have undergone a transformation (largely due to the writings of the unquestionably brilliant and arguably insane Grant Morrison) from atheism to a sort of polytheism/pantheism that has also involved a fascination with, and an ongoing but thorough investigation of, the occult. Don't judge.

me after reading Grant Morrison

me before reading Grant Morrison
There are many types of divination available to the dedicated magician and the skeptic alike, and both are usually surprised by the results. I recently have been teaching myself the Rider-Waite Tarot Deck, because it's easier to learn than Aleister Crowley's Thoth Deck. I'll get to the Thoth Deck eventually, because first of all I respect The Beast a great deal, and second of all, Thoth is one of the patron gods I've chosen to help me through my times of trouble (he is one of the earliest gods of the Alphabet).

Tonight I did the stupid thing, being stressed and uncertain, and read my own cards. Rookie mistake.

To Those In The Know, you will realize that the upper rightmost card is the most important - the divination card. You concentrate hard upon the meaning of the previous drawings, and, well, take it away Arthur Edward Waite:

The TENTH CARD represents what will come. It is on this card that you concentrate your intuitive powers, your experience and your memory in respect to the official divinatory meanings attached thereto....it should include whatsoever you may have divined from the other cards on the table, , including the Significator itself and concerning him or it, not excepting such lights upon higher significance as might fall like sparks from heaven if the card which serves for the Oracle, the card for reading, should happen to be a Trump Major.

I drew a Trump Major.

The Tower represents: "Misery, distress, ruin, indigence, adversity, calamity, disgrace, deception."


It also makes my life-long fascination with Stephen King's The Dark Tower saga a little more bizarre, coincidental, and serendipitous.

In my defense, as readers of the cards might note by looking at the whole layout, my reading basically said that my life has been full of adversity, cruelty, and bad luck, but those things have given me strength. As to what I desire, "country life, repose, concord, harmony, prosperity, peace, and the perfect work of these" is dead on, but the small, wriggling skeptic in me cries out "who DOESN'T want that?"

Still, some of the readings regarding my present state and background etc. were eerily dead on. Would you like your Tarot read? Go pay somebody.

But if you don't want to pay somebody, well, come on over and let's just hope my bad luck doesn't rub off on you.


  1. Can your reading tell me if I am riddled with Cancer?

  2. Sometimes shades help... even in the dark, SLS.

  3. Anonymous: no. you have to pay a fancy doctor a lot of money to use you like a hand puppet for that.