Tuesday, 23 October 2012

Sci-Fi Television And Breakfasts

posted 10/23/2012  by the Salt City Sinner

Greetings, wage slaves!

If there are two things I love (there are a lot more than two things I love), they are breakfast and science fiction.

In this very special edition of Salt City Sinner we will examine a few slightly more (or less) esoteric science fiction television programs in terms of what breakfast they represent.

What were my criteria for picking this show instead of that? Don't ask any damned questions, just roll with it, and feel free to comment.

First up!

nice LaserDisc you have there
Series: Any Star Trek
Pros: Functioning positive example of Socialist government (oh wait, all of Europe before the Eurozone crisis also qualified/s)
Cons: Ferengi ear-sex is mad creepy
Breakfast: Two eggs fried over easy with bacon and white toast. Reliable, sensible, old-school.

Series:  Any Star Wars
Pros: Seriously awesome set design and internal cohesion (pre-prequels)
Cons: George Lucas
Breakfast:  French toast. A rich indulgence that is satisfactory if rarely enjoyed (especially "Empire Strikes Back")

Series: Battlestar Galactica (the new one, nobody cares about the weird Mormon 70's one)
Pros: Decent argument for Bush-era torture policies and everything wrong with America's military
Cons: Series finale (see also: "Lost")
Breakfast: Nothing but Mimosas and straight shots of whiskey, each one greeted by a "so say we all!" post.

Series: FarScape
Pros: Significant alien boning (word up)
Cons: Cheap sets, some moderately bad writing
Breakfast: "Moons Over My Hammy," a stunted but still almost worthy take on Eggs Benedict.

Actually, never mind - my fixation on Guy Fierei's "Drivers, Dine-In and Dives" has taught me that "add a fried egg" is the new "add bacon" in the great American food arms race.

Series:  Firefly
Pros: Quasi-Libertarian space opera with some stones
Cons: What happened in 2008? Who did what? Oh, nothing
Breakfast: The Full Ron Swanson

Series: Lexx
Pros: More low-cut and horny than Farscape
Cons: More confusing and slightly lower-budget than Farscape
Breakfast: A bowl of Lucky Charms with 1% milk

Am I wrong? Am I right? Do you have your own contributions?

Let me know!

1 comment:

  1. Sadly, I lack knowledge of everything after BSG. For what it's worth I believe you are spot on with Star Trek and Wars, and that the BSG breakfast should be straight whiskey. Don't forget how thoroughly alcoholic every single one of the characters was by the end of that show.