Friday, 25 January 2013

Aaron Klein Is Your New Defense Against The Dark Arts Teacher

posted 1/25/2013 by the Salt City Sinner

What is it with Aaron Klein and the occult?

I can easily explain my own fascination, but A.) I'm not a worshiper of YHWH, and B.) I'm not ensconced in a worldview where demonic entities are lurking around every corner, curdling milk and snacking on good Christian infants. In fact, summoning or communicating with "demonic" forces is like many facets of magick or occult practice-- tricky, difficult, and not for the lazy or inexperienced.



Yesterday we were illuminated by Klein's theory that the Sandy Hook massacre was motivated by Satanism (a theory based on one statement by one sketchy source to a tabloid that Adam Lanza had a "web page with the word 'SATAN' on it" in Gothic font -- impeccable "journalism," Aaron!).

Well kiss my grits and slap my hamhocks silly, because Investigator Klein is back with a bold new theorem, this time regarding the possible demonic possession and/or actual fleshy nature of Barack H. Obaphomet!

From the zestily named "IS OBAMA BIBLICAL 'LORD OF THE FLIES'?"

JERUSALEM -- 

Quick note here -- WND's editorial inconsistency in this regard is kind of hilarious. Usually articles do not begin with the tagline of the "bureau" they're filed from, but when Big Joe Farah feels like puffing out his chest and pulling a costume out of Grandpa's attic in a wondrous, child-like game of "let's pretend we're real journalists!", pieces are usually prefaced this way.  And what better way to prove your batsh!t crazy Christian / Messianic Judaism bona fides than by filling from... JERUSALEM?

Moving on:

JERUSALEM -- Prophecy websites are having a field day with the worldwide attention President Obama is getting for sparring with a fly yesterday.
News reports have recounted Obama's history of attracting flies during recorded interviews and speeches. 
Already, religious and other websites are using the headlines to point out that a biblical reference for Satan, the Semitic deity Beelzebub, literally translates from Hebrew into "Lord of the Flies."
TONIGHT I COME FOR YOUR EYES, AARON KLEIN

A posting at the popular Free Republic Web forum discusses Beelzebub and asks "Is the White House fly infestation evidence of demonic presence and influence there?" 
The End Times blog named Obama the "Lord of the Flies."  
The blog connects Obama to Beelzebub, writing, "This really isn't an academic question. The Lord of the Flies is real."

mmmm... I smell an Aaron Klein article!


Over at RevelationNow.net, a posting by "editorial staff" muses about whether  Obama is possessed by a demonic entity. 
"I feel like I am watching a horror movie and the secret evil character is revealed by the evil signs around him," the post reads.
Aaron, I assure you that if Obama were possessed by Beelzebub, he -- and YOU -- should consider it an honor. I mean, the Lord of the Flies is one of the Seven Princes of Hell, after all, and one of the top three most prominent demonaic powers according to most 17th and 18th century occultists.

But really, Klein, if you're ever going to make Slytherin proud and nab that Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor post, you're going to have to think outside of your sad little Judeo-Christian box. Maybe Obama is possessed by, say, Huwawa the Terrible, or perhaps he is an avatar of Tlazolteotl ?

If you're going to go down this road, A.K., and I hope you do, you're going to have to dig a little deeper, son.

No comments:

Post a Comment