Monday, 30 December 2013

My Resignation From Hogwarts



posted on x by the Salt City Sinner

By now, most of you will have heard that I will not be finishing the remainder of this year as your Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor.

Because a number of most hurtful and unseemly rumours have been heard circulating amongst my students, I have kindly been allowed to issue the following clarifications.

You WILL still be expected to pass the extemporaneous written examination on “Contract Law In Norse Mythology And The Origins Of Complex Fraud And Trickster Gods” (I suggest you refer to your notes from class throughout May for the purposes of this exercise -- a three page essay should suffice here) .

The same does not hold true for my one-day lecture on “Faustian Bargains In Goethe And Marlowe,” however, which has been redacted in its entirety. You are required to find and turn in your notes from this lecture.



You will still be expected to perform two simple and one complex banishment(s) to pass your OWLS.

Any lecture notes labeled "Necromancy" are to be turned in to an instructor at once. (As a footnote to this, all students who participated in my voluntary extracurricular 'Dead Tapdancers Society' are required to report to the infirmary immediately – be assured this will be treated with the utmost discretion) The section of the examination previously marked “Blood Magick” is not to be discussed, and will be replaced by a brief multiple-choice review of the history of the muggle black market in magical items.

Speaking of which, any students who were present during Show and Tell on the equinox please see the above instructions regarding the infirmary. Until you can see a magical/medical professional, keep repeating "there was no shoebox, no little box could hold that much dark."



Allow me to say that it has been my pleasure to serve as your professor for even this brief duration. Please be aware that any attempt to contact me will be viewed by the Ministry as an act of magical terrorism.

3 comments:

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  2. Terrorism it is, then. I still need to learn how to transfigure ghosts but our new DADA teacher's a Ministry plant so McGonagall won't work with her. :(

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    Replies
    1. if you whisper the password only the dead know to the shadow of the tree through your bedroom window at midnight, someone -- or something -- will contact you directly

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