Salt City Sinner

posted on 1/23/2019 by the Salt City Sinner Crow! Nobody likes to eat it. For one thing, corvids are highly intelligent and social animals, and for another they taste awful (or so I’ve heard). That said, I’m a fellow who prides myself on my ability to admit when I’m wrong, and thus I present an instance (one of many, but we’ll tackle them one at a time) when I’ve been wrong. Mostly. The year was 2015 ! The newfangled “jazz music” craze was ripping up the airwaves, and women were wearing short skirts and voting! In actuality, 2015 only feels like 100 years ago, due to the horrific time distortion field we’ve been living in recently. Here’s what I had to say then about Senator Mark Madsen’s attempts to decriminalize the devil’s lettuce for medical use:   I will not argue for a single second that [2015’s failed legalization effort] isn't progress – it is. And Senator Mark Madsen's bill regarding medical marijuana only failed by a single vote.  …All of that as...

posted on 1/11/2019 by the Salt City Sinner “So…why Satan?” he asked me. It was a reasonable question – albeit a personal one. I am,after all, a Satanist . I’m not an evangelist, however, and people in the United States are socially conditioned to think of religion as an inherently expansionist, conquering influence. For example: even though Christians are instructed to “enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray” (Matthew 6:6) those rascals are obsessed with the spotlight – grabbing it, keeping it, brightening it. It’s why Evangelical Christians erect giant stonemonuments to their god on public land, why they   want to make your mind up for you on any number of subjects, because look at them (please, won’t you?), how good they are, don’t they know best? Even when I was a Christian, I was a Catholic. While Catholicism is certainly a public-facing faith that has no problem whatsoever exerting political pressure on the saved and unsaved...

posted on 1/2/2019 by the Salt City Sinner Hey gang! How was your New Years? Did you have fun getting arrested and beaten and maybe tased until you whizzed yourself and then locked in a box for a few days? What’s that you say? You dodged Utah’s shiny new .05 DUI law by calling a Lyft after having two drinks rather than chancing it? Well will you have a look at that, I guess the system works ! I did no drinking whatsoever on the dreaded night in question and went to bed at (if I remember correctly) 8 PM, because I am a wild man and a party animal. To me, annual New Year celebrations have all of the bad baggage of a birthday – the march of time, a grim reminder of mortality – with none of the fun. Maybe it’s my temperament, maybe it’s the time of year, I don’t know, but for me it’s just a bummer of a holiday. That said, the year ahead ought to prove interesting, and so I present to you my five predictions for 2019. Stand back as my listicles descend! April 1, 2019: ...