Salt City Sinner

posted on 6/20/2015 by the Salt City Sinner On Wednesday night, Dylann Storm Roof allegedly entered a historic Black church in Charleston, South Carolina. He sat through most of the prayer meeting at Emanuel A.M.E. Church and then opened fire with a handgun, killing nine people including a sitting South Carolina state senator who was also the pastor of the church. Roof was motivated by hatred of Black people, and has since reportedly confessed to committing the crime in an attempt to start a race war. In the wake of such an outburst of deadly violence, I was not sure what to expect from right wing media, be it Fox News, talk radio, or the open, reeking sewer that is the conservative internet, including borderline white nationalist sites like Joseph Farah's WND (formerly World Net Daily). Excuses, sure. The usual bullshit about antidepressants and Big Pharma being the real hidden force at work behind white men committing mass murder in places like Sandy Hook or Aurora (viole...

posted on 6/10/2015 by the Salt City Sinner Musky salutations, nerds and nerdettes! We are a mere 15 weeks away from the triumphant return of Salt Lake Comic Con, or, as I like to call it , the North American Comic Con With The Fewest Virgins™. Throughout Utah and the surrounding region, fans are getting ready; assembling their costumes, slimming down to fit into said costumes, planning time off of work from from the IT help desk, and so forth. If, like me, you are already starting to get excited about the goings-on and if you are wondering how you will pass the idle days between now and September 24 – 26, here are five suggestions on what to read, comics-wise, between now and then. SALT CITY STRANGERS “Hang on a second,” I can hear you say, and not just because I've bugged your house. “Did you steal the title of your dumb-ass bloggue from this marvelous local comic book? What the hell is wrong with you, asshole?!” Whoa, buddy! Watch your language! And while you...

posted on 6/7/2015 by the Salt City Sinner “Americans are dumb,” the accepted wisdom in some circles goes. “They are ignorant, bad at science, bad at math, bad at reading and writing. They eat bibles and drink reality TV, and the only things they produce are 'collateral damage' in countries they invade and Michael Bay movies.” Harsh and reductive, dicks in "some circles!" “Sure, listen to the liberty-hating commies in San Francisco and Manhattan,” goes the reply from other circles. “America is the greatest, freest, most awesomest country that God ever made. We beat the Nazis and the Soviets, went to the moon, and created the KFC 'Double Down,' a cheese-and-bacon sandwich that uses two pieces of fried chicken for bread. Seems pretty crafty to me!” Not presenting the best rebuttal, dumbasses in "other circles!" The truth, as it sometimes does in reality and always does in whatever dimension Peter Wehner and other “centrist” Democrats hail...

posted on 5/27/2015 by the Salt City Sinner It's a beautiful day outside! Spring is blossoming on the brink of summer, the warm air is laden with birdsong and sweet, golden pollen, and you've decided to join a cult. This is not a wholly unusual life choice, and although your friends, family, coworkers, and various psychiatric professionals may be dismayed by your decision, or even tell you that you're making a horrible mistake that will destroy your life, this modest bloggue is a judgement-free zone and staunch defender of your political and religious liberty and your right to live according to your Sincerely Held Beliefs™, no matter how unusual they may be. You may think that this means that your decision-making days are over. This is, unfortunately, not true YET. After all, planet Earth in the year 2015 offers you a magnificent array of options in terms of cults that are eager to have you on board. To help determine which cult might be a good fit for you, we h...

posted on 5/22/2015 by the Salt City Sinner “And these you shall detest among the birds; they shall not be eaten; they are detestable: the eagle, the bearded vulture, the black vulture, the kite, the falcon of any kind, every raven of any kind, the ostrich, the nighthawk, the sea gull, the hawk of any kind, the little owl, the cormorant, the short-eared owl...” – Leviticus 11 : 13 – 20 Frater Xango Mangosteen hunches over the dead seagull, its entrails spread before him in an ugly, glittering bouquet. Though his augury usually provides only the general outlines of things to come, shrouded in possibilities and uncertainties, today's sacrifice at the crossroads of the salt trade routes has, upon having its belly slit open, provided a revelation that is as clear and as sharp as an icicle thrust through the eye socket. The time is here; the Holy Sovereign Nation of Deseret will shrug off the shackles of the Eagle, the iron collar of Rome, the deathly somnolence of peace. He ...

posted on 5/20/2015 by the Salt City Sinner When Ronald Reagan tore down the Berlin Wall in late 1989 with his bare hands, Real Americans™ breathed a sigh of relief that proved as premature as a red-blooded American man's ejaculation during procreative missionary-position coitus. You see, in spite of the fact that the Soviet Union first banned the Communist Party and then formally dissolved in 1991, launching a two decade period of capitalist reforms and foreign investment, and despite the fact that only five Communist nations still exist (China, Cuba, Laos, Vietnam and North Korea), Communism is still apparently a vibrant and powerful force in the world today. Sleeper cells and hidden agendas riddle every sector of American society, using progressives, liberals, and the hated Democrat Party as either useful idiots or willing accomplices. The One True God of Christendom has been driven from our schools, our government, and our culture, leaving a vacuum into which the demoni...

posted on 5/18/2015 by the Salt City Sinner Assholes! Almost everybody has one, and some people can't help but be one! They walk among us, occupying various perches from the lowliest of street-sweepers to the lofty ivory towers of academia to the hungry glowing rictuses of cable news to the hushed reverence of museums, monasteries, and mansions. Fun fact: statisticians have estimated that approximately 100% of elected officials in the United States are assholes, making them our body politic's most well-represented demographic, just ahead of white Christian males. A person's status as an asshole is like religious belief or sexual orientation – while some visual cues may give hints as to what it might be, it is impossible in most cases to detect accurately with the naked eye. For this reason, I hope you find the following field guide helpful. It is by no means exhaustive, but it may prove useful as a set of preliminary parameters in conversation both online and off. He...