Tuesday, 27 March 2012

The Fat Of The Land

From every college kid's favorite toe-dip into Chuck Palahniuk:

Tyler Durden: The salt balance has to be just right, so the best fat for making soap comes from humans.
Narrator: Wait, what is this place?
Tyler Durden: A liposuction clinic.

NO, NO, NO, Tyler Durden!

That is not how you make soap. I respect your combination of dumpster-diving and artisan production, but that is not how good soap is made.

One the members of my Maoist hive-marriage, Stephanie, has struck out boldly into the soap-making business, and you know what? Doctor Bronner's can go take a flying f*** at a rolling donut. Steph's stuff is the bomb.

When I first happened upon her operation (hidden deep in the countryside that constitutes the border between Salt Lake's Downtown and West Side - more about that some other time), I was sold:

Those were made for me based on scents I wanted and shapes available. I cannot express the enthusiasm I feel now every morning to run a train-shaped bar of specially scented soap up and down my frame while making "Choo-Choo!" noises.

This is something that all men want to do, but few will admit.

Come on, fellas - don't YOU want a train-shaped bar of soap?

If you are worried about the ingredients of this soap, I have a lengthy Word document from Steph detailing exactly what goes into her artisan soaps. Common ingredients?

Lye. Coconut Oil. Palm Oil. Olive Oil. Castor Oil.

Different ingredients go into each scent. Steph has crafted a really amazing variety of soaps and scents, ranging from hemp-based soap to oatmeal soap, and ranging in scent from "Turkish Mocha" to "Summer Fling."

I myself invested heavily in "Nag Champa," because I enjoy smelling like the reading room at the One World Cafe. That's just the derelict I am, and the company I keep, I suppose.

You can contact Steph at stefnation@gmail.com 


  1. Have you noticed that it doesn't leave you feeling like you have a film all over you? Steffy and I are really glad that you are enjoying the soap. And to state fact, once you have the train soap in your hands, you can't help making train noises. There's something inherently fun about it.


  2. Wow that was a mental image I didn't need.