Sunday, 4 November 2012

Tales of an Erstwhile Practitioner

Posted 11/2/12 by Law Nerd, Esq.

Whereas I would ordinarily perform some feat of legal research to enlighten the questionable audience, today I summarize for our readers the lessons of a young attorney.

I have only been technically able to "practice" law for the past week and a half, having been sworn in on the 25th of October in Montpelier, Vermont, the wee-est capital in the nation.  I will spend the next few years waiting for competence, as befits a profession that prides itself on obscurity and minutiae, and puts a $200,000 price tag on entry.  In my short time as a patient young associate, I have learned:

That it is important to ask the court to accept your evidence if you intend to use it to prove, you know, your case;

to master the ability to translate chicken scratch;

that it's scary to sign your name;

that wearing a well-fitting suit feels like battle armor;

to ask the harried partner his precise expectations, else fumbling ensues;

to defer;

that attending actual court hearings is about 3% as interesting as Court TV makes it out to be; and

the unspeakable joy of having my own office, complete with my own stapler.

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