Mitt Romney, 90-Percenter

It is a very jaundiced eye indeed that I cast toward pseudo-informational garbage like local broadcast morning news or - god forbid - publications like PARADE.

Despite this fact, and despite the glittering jumble-sale of falsehoods, lies, distortions, and hilariously transparent 'message control' that is national electoral politics in this country, good old Mitt Romney still manages to shock the hell out of me with how craven he is.

Reading a Salt Lake Tribune recap of a PARADE interview with a slick, wealthy politician is sort of like reading badly translated instructions on how to assemble an end table through a pair of filthy glasses in a mirror, backwards.

Here goes:

PARADE's interview -- included in Sunday's paper -- touches on premarital sex and his enormous wealth. Romney...notes that past leaders like FDR and Jack Kennedy were well off too and he gives an answer that might catch the attention of some of the Occupy protesters. [Do tell! -Ed.] 

"In the U.S., the very poor are provided a safety net, which must be maintained. The very rich are doing fine. The middle class is suffering," he said. "It is for the great majority of Americans, the 90 percent in the middle, that I'm running for president." 

He didn't make it up to 99 percent, but he got close.

After quietly excusing myself to shriek my throat bloody out the window (politeness counts), I returned to this article with two thoughts.

First of all, math is not my strong point and never has been, but I'm willing to bet that a statistician might be intrigued by the idea of a "90 percent middle." Second, it's hilarious that the two wealthy chief executives that Romney picked as his go-to historical examples were both arch liberals -- that's bound to win him as many friends in the GOP base as among progressives.

Again, the one comfort that kicks my cranky hindquarters out of bed in the morning and tucks me softly in at night is how transparently inept the attempts to co-opt #Occupy have been so far. When even Mitt Romney is trying to pander to a movement, you know it's past the steam-gathering stage and getting ready to deploy a wrecking ball or two.