Thursday, 14 November 2013

A Guest Post From Joseph Farah

a guest post on 11/14/13 by Joseph Farah, founder, editor, CEO and Grand Wizard of WND

(EDITOR'S NOTE: as should be obvious to most semi-sentient hominids, this is a work of satire. Since Joseph Farah, however, does not understand satire, and has a  history  of suing people -- for Freedom -- this disclaimer is sadly necessary. Mr. Farah was good enough to bring his own hot, scurrying intestinal cargo of ads, for which Salt City Sinner will receive nothing, because we are godless Communists. With no further exposition, we present the very first Salt City Sinner guest post, from the Reveren Doctor Joseph Farah, Newsman, Esq.)

I don't know about you, but Freedom makes me frisky.

Unless it's the wrong type of Freedom. I don't like that, and we didn't like that back when life was simpler, better. I'm not talking about the "freedom" peddled today, which is to say the kind the homos, weirdos, and Muslims want.

Every single morning when the sun peeks through the blinds in Northern Virginia, I scratch my beloved wife and dogs behind the ears, say a prayer to Jeshua bin Josef, the Christ and Savior, and take a deep breath.

Can you guess what that breath tastes like?

Anyone who has followed my  career  knows what it tastes like: Freedom.

If you don't believe me, buy my book.

Seriously, though, buy my book. This book or that one or this special paperback deal. The proceeds help me leave a dish of milk out for Christ Jesus, bim sala bim the Creator G_d, every Shabbat. The dish of milk and armor of the Lord keep the homosexuals out of my house at night.

Back to Freedom.

Do you know what Freedom doesn't taste like?

It doesn't taste like abomination. It doesn't taste like love between “gays.” It doesn't taste like sodomites or those poor, disadvantaged “blacks.” Only WND has reported on this issue. ((SUBSCRiBE HERE))//

I founded WND and have run it since 1997, because I am a real newsman, fearless, brilliant, holy, and modest.

I talked about this issue in my book “Stop The Presses!” Buy my book, because I saw this coming. I saw all of it coming. Repent, because Yahweh has spoken to me. I am a prophet and my words ring in the empty halls of dead and conquered gods like the very voice of the Holy Father of Abraham.

And if you want the real truth, subscribe to my newsletter, buy my books (please buy my books) or listen to WND's numerous podcasts, where we explain how Glenn Beck does my job better than me, even though he's not a real Christian. ( BUY GOLD  / BUY WATER FILERS  /  BUY STOCK IN BLACK HELICOPTERS)

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