SWEET JIGGLING JESUS CHRIST OF NAZARETH! Has it really been THREE MONTHS since I dusted off my best pair of novelty devil horns and updated this sumbitch? It would appear so.
Many thanks to ViewFinder for holding down the fort in my absence, and keeping our loyal audience of homeless shamans who live under a bridge and connect to the internet with their minds (both of them) up to date on police brutality and weird dreams . She is a gem.
"So, f*ckface, where have you been?" you probably don't wonder. It is a strange and horrible tale.
You see, one chilly evening in late November, I was abducted by a small but loyal group of cultists, devotees of the almost-forgotten Slavic "black god" Czernobog.
|specializes in curses, bad luck, bloodshed|
The tortures I was subjected to were both unspeakable and strangely erotic. Only this week did I manage to escape by whittling a crude key to my enclosure out of the lucky femur I carry on a leather thong around my neck at all times. How this lucky charm escaped the numerous strip searches and periods of nude captivity I endured is between me and my flexible orifices.
Long story short, I HAVE RISEN
We have some exciting lunacy headed your way soon. A brand new contributor, Confirmed Spinster, will be on board before long, as well as Law Nerd with an exciting dissection of the "true Constitutional right to secede" that appears to be popular with the racist lunatics at WND right now. Also, Gerald Long of popular online teratogen Crazypoliticos has promised me a nice, tender post about the death of Adam Swartz and prosecutor Carmen Ortiz's role in it.
So stay tuned, two shamans under a bridge who are reading this directly through their brains!